Closing Thoughts

After all the blogposts and all the stories and all the emails, I began to think to myself, I need a summary. I need a concise way to illustrate my mission to people who were not there. I am back in America and people want to know about my trip, but I do not even know how to begin to describe the people I met, the new experiences and the things I witnessed. However even the smallest phrase or word can trigger a sweet memory of Uganda for me and I find it hard to talk about anything but my trip. So without further ado, here is a short list of lessons I learned in Uganda.

1) The first lesson I learned was how to love. It sounds very elementary and before I left, I thought I understood how to love, but now I realize how much I held back. It is funny because while in Uganda, I journaled every single day about my thoughts, feelings and prayers. When I read over it during my long layover in the airport, I discovered one of the reoccuring hopes in my journals is that I would learn how to love more and I did. My hardened shell was broken and I learned how to feel other people's pain more, to feel more joyful for other people's successes and to just be more connected to the emotions of the people around me.

2) Another lesson I learned is that happiness is not dependent on condition, but on your approach to life. I always knew this lesson, but for once I really got to see this for real. So many Americans with great lives are so depressed and so many Ugandans who have experienced tragedy and great loss are completely joyful just to be alive. Life truly is what you make of it.

3) One lesson that suprised me was learning how to worship. I have gone to church my whole life, I have sang countless numbers of praise songs and hymns to the Lord, but for the first time in my life I learned how to sing and mean it. How to reflect on the words and pray while singing and sing with JOY for God. For the first time in my life I could sing and not worry about how terrible my voice is because I was singing for God and God alone. To quote the song, I finally got to the "heart of worship".

4) The power of prayer is another basic lesson I learned. In one of my other blog posts, I spoke of a woman I met in the village being healed of her stomach pains through prayer. That is just one example of all the prayers that were answered that I actually got to see. I am still working on learning how to pray with the unfaltering knowledge that God is capable of answering my prayers, but I am working on it. As it says in the New Testament, Lord I believe, but help my unbelief. It is quite funny how even when you witness God do miracles part of you still holds back and does not believe fully. But, I have learned that prayers are answered, this I KNOW.

5) Lastly, I learned the importance of relationships. My experience in Uganda would not have been nearly as wonderful and positive if I had not have had such a supportive, loving and Godly team at my side. The Ugandan staff did everything possible to help teach me their culture and show me themselves and the volunteers from abroad encouraged and comforted me in times of joy and times of need. Also, I realized how much I love and miss the people I left behind and I pray I cherish the times I spend with my loved ones more and more everyday because time is limited and you will not always have the chance to show people how much you care for them.

Overall, Uganda changed my life and who I am. I say this with one hundred percent certainty and pride. God humbled me, God showed me his power and I am attempting to become more faithful and loving towards him and others everyday. I pray that this change is not temporary, but permanent and I pray this is not the end, but the beginning of a new chapter in my life. I know this will not be my last official mission trip and I realize now that as a Christian, I am always on a mission for Christ through the way I treat others. Thank you so much for reading my blog and praying for me and supporting me, I really truly do love each of you so so much.

"The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not be in want. He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me besides quiet waters, he restores my soul. He guides me in paths of righteousness, for his name's sake." Psalm 23:1-3

Week Eight

The end is here. It is 1:30 AM right now and I leave for the airport at 5:00 AM. Then I just have an eight hour flight, a twenty hour layover and another eight hour flight, and then just as quickly as it all started, it will actually be over. I am experiencing so many emotions right now and thinking about so many things, it is quite overwhelming.

I'm not ready to conclude my blog yet though, I'm not ready for my final thoughts and reflections on my trip. Instead, I just want to update everyone on the week and save the last lessons learned for when I am back home in my mosquito net free bed.

I will start off with the village mission in Zirobwe. Wow, what an incredible experience that was. We slept two to a mattress in a room in the Ebeneezer Primary School without electricity or showers for four days. Unlike the Rakai mission, where we traveled to our guest house after building each day, we stayed in the heart of the village, collecting water from the same well as the villagers and living with the community. From one aspect, it was exhausting because we had no time off. There was always another child to play with or another adult to talk to and we were never alone just as a team. But on the other hand, I really began to more fully understand the struggle of life in the village. After a long day of building, having to walk half a mile with a gerry can to the well, pump the water out using maximum exertion and walk half a mile back to the school with a full gerry can (which feels about the same as carrying 4 galloons of milk at once) to shower was dreadful. However, for the villagers this is their life. Retrieving water for bathing, cooking, drinking, cleaning, everything is as natural to them as jumping in the car is for us. Small children carry gerry cans on their heads without so much as a wimper. The work ethic and physical strength is really incredible. Another huge challenge of Zirobwe was the lack of electricity. While a couple of the girls brought flashlights, trying to make our way back to the school after our nightly bonfire or trying to get ready for bed in the dark was difficult and inconvenient. More so, realizing the people of the village do not even have flashlights, but really do navigate in the dark really showed me how blessed I am. I am so thankful for the experience on living under these conditions, and I am also thankful that I was born into the conditions I live in now.

While in the village we split into four teams and built four goat sheds for four families. Each of the goat sheds came with a male and female, in hopes that the goats will reproduce and continue to provide for the families. Building the goat shed was an absolute blast. We built it from mud, sticks and other natural resources. Day one we set up the campsite (which involved hoeing a field for tents and collecting firewood) and finished building the squatty we started working on last week. Day two we built the frame of the goat shed and made mud (which for me meant 20 trips to the well and back while the boys worked on the frame) and day three we stomped on the mud (for around four hours) and filled the walls with mud. Day four we went from house to house and admired the work, prayed with the family and delivered the goats and then headed home. The work was exhausting, but we had a great team and I had so much fun.

Leaving the village was hard yet again. Spending so much time there, we again got to know the kids by name and the community was sad to see us go. The nightly dinners and bonfires were really fun and special times for us all. However, I was happy to be back at the EAC house, my home away from home.

Saturday was a great day as well. I took my sponsored child, Miriam out shopping. Some of the facts I had about her were wrong, she does not want to be a teacher, she wants to be a vet and she is not in p4, she is in p7. Both her parents have passed away and she lives with a relative. She is Muslim and her favorite animal is the cow. She is absolutely gorgeous and such a joy to be around, once you get past her shy exterior. I love everything about her. We went to Owino or the crazy market where everything is cheap cheap cheap. For 100,000 shillings (or about 50 dollars), I bought her 7 shirts, 2 skirts, 2 bras, 5 panties, a backpack, nice shoes, a mathematics set and shoe polish. I also paid for the taxi to Owino for Miriam, Felix and myself and bought us all lunch. But most of all, I enjoyed getting to spend time with Miriam and laughing and sharing with her. It really is amazing how far a few dollars can go for someone else here.

Today has been a quiet day. Church in the morning, goodbyes and packing in the afternoon and the World Cup viewing at a cafe at night. Congratulations Spain! Also, please pray for the people affected by the bombings after the Cup. Luckily, no one on our team faced any dangers, but there are a lot of people out there that need our prayers.

I learned so many lessons just this week alone that I cannot even really begin to comprehend them all at this point. I'm sorry this blog is not more insightful or conclusionery, but hopefully when it is not 2 in the morning of the day I leave my home away from home here in Africa, I will have more revelations to give. I love and miss all of you and I will see you so so soon. Please check my blog within the next week for my final post!

Week Seven

Instead of titling this blog week seven, a more appropriate name may be along the lines of "round one of goodbyes". Since we leave for the village mission tomorrow, this was my last week at all the projects. My last feeding program at a primary school, my last visit to a secondary school, my last trip to Katelemwa, the Babies Homes, Remand Home and Kids in Need. Obviously this week was not the easiest. After going to the same projects every week, I found that at every project, I had one or two children that I was especially close with. At the end of our time together when I would have to tell them that no, I won't be here next week, that same feeling of disappointment and temporary grief overcame both of us. With the children here, it is not just a goodbye for now, but probably a goodbye forever. Even if I come back to Uganda some day, the kids will be older, I will have mixed up their names and faces and they will no longer be at the orphanages or the correctional facilities. Knowing that fact made it tough. However, I can only pray that I made at least a sliver of the impact in their life that they had in mine. I hope by speaking to them, loving them and laughing with them, I somehow am helping them develop into the person that they will become. I know that through their loving me, I have developed into a better person myself. While I am sad, I am choosing to focus on the times we had together, instead of the times I'll be missing out.

Besides saying goodbyes, the team also went to a secondary school one evening this week to play a volleyball game with the kids. Of course, I opted to be a cheerleader once again and we taught a group of about 10 female students stunts, cheers and even attempted a pyramid. As much as I've despised cheerleading my whole life (I mean after all, dancers and cheerleaders are naturally arch nemesis's), it is funny to see how willing and enthusiastically I will cheer with these students. I believe it is their open and loving attitude that makes it possible for all of the volunteers here to do things they never would do normally. It was of course an amazingly fun day. Last week when we played a basketball game with a different secondary school, I also taught a group of amazing young girls some cheers. Two of them, Maria and Kedrine now come by the house during the afternoons sometimes to play games and chat with me. I had to tell them goodbye this week too, and that was another difficult farewell. But again, the painful salutations are worth enduring for the memories that both of us will cherish forever.

Saturday was a great day. I think I discovered my dream job. Felix is in charge of the sponsorship program through Empower A Child and he needed some assistance going to all 130 of the kids homes to check on them. We split into groups and visited the homes of the children located close by in Kampala. Basically, we were welcomed into the children's homes, asked them how school was going, asked the guardians about their needs and struggles, prayed together and spent time showing the children love. We visited four kids in my group and each one of their stories was heartwrenching. Of the four, none of them were living with their parents. One was living with a former neighbor, one was living with an aunt's friend, one was living with an older brother (who was only 18 I may add) and one was living with a relative. While obviously the state of the broken home due to disease and poverty is incredibly saddening, one amazing phenomenon out of this situation was the selflessness of the caregivers. Just imagine, in America, people try countless methods in an attempt to have children themselves when so many children are left parentless, needing love. In America, foster families are PAID to take care of other people's kids. And while neither of these things are necessarily bad, it is just really incredible to see random people, some who barely know the children and are struggling to provide for themselves, take other people's children under their protective wing. It is just part of culture here though, taking care of one another and I love it.

I have also decided to sponsor a child. Her name is Miriam and she's 14. I was supposed to meet her Saturday, but she was in exam. However, next week I am meeting her and taking her shopping for clothes and school supplies. While it is going to be a slight inconvenience for me monetarily, I know that for her, it will absolutely change her life. She could NOT get the education she will now get without a sponsor. I am slightly worried about making ends meet with this new commitment, yet at the same time I know the Lord will provide and there is always something I can give up. I am counting down the days until I get to meet her.

Well this is shorter than usual but I am in a rush, we are about to have our planning meeting for next week. Tomorrow we are going to camp at the village for a quick week to build goat sheds and spend time with the community. Then Saturday we are going to a couple schools, Sunday we rest and Monday (early early early) in the morning I leave for home. While I am so sad to leave this place, I am beginning to get excited to come home and see all of you! I love and miss you all!

"When we have done everything we were told to do, we should say, 'we are unworthy servants and we have only done our duty'" -Luke 17:10