Week Six

Week Six

The weeks go quicker and quicker as another week has already past and the reality that I only have two full weeks left is beginning to really sink in. Every once in awhile I will have a quick flash of memory of something small from the US like smooth roads with stoplights, air conditioning, endless rows of fast food chains and dogs walking on leashes and it all seems so foreign and different. But on the other hand, I really do miss my family and friends and would love to see them again. Today, I said goodbye to seven dear friends of mine, three of which had been here with me for a full six weeks and I realized just how quickly the clock is ticking. I hope these next two weeks I remember to stop and look around and appreciate the beauty around me before it is too late and I am back on the plane, heading back to my old life as a new woman.

Exhausting and unforgettable are the two adjectives I think best describe this week. Monday six new girls came, we had our usual planning meeting and song practice in preparation for the new week. Then we spent a short while in the slums playing games with the kids, chatting with the adults and helping haul handmade pots from point a to point b. I loved the disorganization of the event because it allowed us to really connect on a deeper level with the people of Uganda. Tuesday we went to primary and secondary schools with our usual program and then in the evening we went to Kids in Need. A couple weeks ago at Kids in Need we spent the entire day with the kids, helping around the compound, eating lunch, doing our usual program and giving away clothes. Coming back many of the kids remembered us by name and face and I remembered them as well. While I think it is wonderful to go give attention and love to in need children for a day or even a week, I am beginning to really understand the huge difference a real, consistent relationship can make on a child. When the child asks, "when will I see you again?" and you can answer honestly, "same time next week", the face of that individual brightens in an indescribable way. It is hard to say which one of us is more excited to see each other tomorrow, the kids or the volunteers.

Wednesday we went to Katelemwa (my favorite project!) and to another Secondary School. The day was wonderful and my conversations with the youth continued to challenge and provoke thought in me. However, that evening was the real miracle. We were all exhausted from a couple long days of service, but on the schedule we had planned to go play basketball at a school. Most of us have zero to none athletic talent, it was scorching hot and as I said, we were completely out of energy. However, we tried to put on our happy faces and trudged over to the school with dragging, but willing feet. When we arrived, what seemed like the entirety of the school had gathered to witness the Muzungus attempt to play basketball. I, of course, volunteered my cheerleading services by making up ridiculous cheers and bringing out the secret weapon, my high kick from the old drill team days and encouraged the EAC team to "Be Aggressive, be be aggressive, b-e-a-g-g-r-e-s-s-i-v-e." The EAC girls ended up winning by some miracle and the EAC boys lost miserably, but all participants had fun. The amazing part was the relationships built during the event. After the EAC girls beat the students, the students were eager to get some tips from the girls and many of them spent the entire next game chatting and joking and loving one another. Also, some of the girls enjoyed watching me cheer and came over to help cheer on the EAC team. We ended up laughing and bonding and one of them, Kedrine, even wrote me a note which she delivered to the house telling me how much she loved cheering and talking with me. Hopefully before I leave she will stop by the house again and we can spend more time together. We left the school that day even more exhausted, but in complete euphoria from the impact we felt we made on the students and the impact their humble welcome had on us. I would LOVE to have that event again.

Thursday was the usual, Sanyu Babies Home and Remand Home and while I know I am already getting very lengthy, I of course have another story. At Remand Home, I met a 17 year old named Randall and we became quick friends. He had been there for about 3 months and only has one month before he is released. During the message, Molly, a lovely volunteer here with me, shared a bible verse and I saw Randall frantically trying to jot down the entire verse on a ratty piece of scratch paper. He does not have a Bible, yet he desires a closer relationship with God. The young man oozed spirituality and a desire to know more about God, yet he lacked the tools. It made me think of all the Bibles sitting gathering dust in the living rooms of spiritually stunted Western homes and how much we take it for granted. It made me think of all the times I have grudgingly done my daily quiet time in the Bible out of habit and obligation instead of a true desire to know more. God blessed us with the amazing text of the Bible and we take it for granted while other people in the world are left praying their hand can keep up with the speakers mouth. I plan to bring Randall a Bible this Thursday and I know with utter confidence that he will treasure and protect that gift more than I ever would.

Friday we went to Zairobwe (the village) and weeded corn, built a squatty potty and cut grass with slashers. The morning dragged on and by the afternoon, we were tired and feeling ready for a cold shower and a warm bed. However, we decided to stay for the afternoon and go talk to the residents of the village with the help of the Ugandan staff members on our team. First, we had promised one of the ladies we brought mattresses, mosquito nets and gerry cans to last week that we would bring her a Bible in Luganda, as she was a recent Christian and desired to grow. Then after walking back from her hut, we ran into another woman who had become a Christian the very first time we went to Zairobwe about a month ago and I had been one of the three that had prayed with her. She had told us of a debilitating stomach pain she had been having and we prayed over that too. However, looking back I know in my heart I doubted. I said the prayer to heal her out of obligation and because she asked, but my heart was thinking, this woman needs a doctor. Anyway, flash forward a month and the woman, Margaret ran up to me (which is incredibly forward and unusual for a woman in the village) and fell at my feet and hugged my waist and said that my prayer had cured her and that she had not felt any stomach pain since that day. I was completely caught off guard and shocked at the news, but amazed to see the transformation in this woman. I remember the first time I met her, she never ONCE looked me in the eye and sat timidly on the mat, letting her husband talk for her. Now, her she was, smiling, looking me in the eye, speaking boldly for Christ. She was testifying to her friend, telling her that God is real and that he does heal because she saw it in herself. I realized in this moment how weak my faith is. She was healed NOT because I prayed, but because she believed that God could heal her. I can take no credit for it because I know in my heart, while I said the prayer, I was not saying it believing it could happen. But she listened to the prayer knowing it would happen and it did. I honestly believe it was a miracle. And while I am a Christian, so you would think I am quick to say miracles happen and people are healed of physical pains without doctors, I realize now that up until this point, I do not think I really truly believed it. And to some extent now, I know I still doubt. But the reality is, God does heal and now I have seen it happen. It was an incredible day. It is funny how the tables turn. Margaret looked at the EAC team for spiritual guidance and examples in the beginning and now I see her as my spiritual leader, my teacher and the person I want to become in my walk of faith.

The rest of the weekend pales in comparison to my experience Friday of course, so I will skip the details. I wish my words could do justice to the experiences I am having here. I wish all of you could step into my skin right now and see what I see. However, you cannot so I hope my small stories and quick overviews can at least shed some light onto what this is like. It is all interconnected, it is not black and white and it is real.

"Then Peter began to speak, 'I now realize how true it is that God does not show favoritism, but accepts men from every nation who fear him and do what is right" -Acts 10:34-35

I miss all of you so much and I cannot wait to see you.

Week Five

For the first time since being here, this week has not been characterized by laughter and thanksgiving, but instead I have been in a mood of deep thinking and painful lessons. While these times are not the times I am going to look back on with a smile, I know I will look back and see that they have made me stronger and changed me.

The week was fairly typical, Monday was staff meeting and a day of rest after Rakia, Tuesday we went to two schools, Wednesday we went to Katelemwa, a school and had team bonding. Thursday we went to the Babies Home and Remand Home and Friday we went to Zairobwe (the village) to deliver supplies such as mattresses, mosquito nets, gerry cans and hoes. The supplies were for families we talked to a couple weeks before. Friday was my favorite day for sure. Seeing the grateful faces of the families and playing games with mobs of hyper children in a village are two sensations I wish everyone could experience.

One conversation I had this week at Remand Home is really on my heart to share with everyone through this blog. In small groups, we were talking with some of the boys about what they were struggling with and questions they had. One of the boys started asking questions about America and it became clear that he thought everyone in America was wealthy, happy and living the perfect life. His perception of America was almost identical to the view held by so many of the Ugandans I've interacted with thus far. America has been idealized here as the promise land, the answer to all problems and a refuge. I remember last week in the village when we went to a school, the headmaster told the students to study hard so that they could get an education and move to America for a better life. This sentence really disturbed me. Obviously the part about studying hard I agreed with, but I do not agree that America is the answer. After being here for over a month, I am noticing that despite all the poverty, disease and corruption, Uganda has so many amazing points. Also, being here has reaffirmed some of the major flaws of America. In Uganda, familial pride is such a huge part of culture. Aunts take their nieces and nephews and raise them as their own children. In fact, many children do not see a distinction between their brother and their cousin because their parents do not see a point in telling them the difference. The neighborhood children all play together and support each other from birth until adulthood. The people live in small huts and houses which of course causes problems from a lack of privacy, but at the same time can be a blessing. In American homes, each child can go into their separate bedroom, get on their personal video gaming system and just maybe, if their family is close, they will wander downstairs for dinner. We may be tech-savvy and well adapted to modern society, but we are missing out on relationships. Half of us do not even know who our neighbors are. Maybe we know the immediate neighbors on either side, but what about the house three houses down? We are so independent and self sufficient in America which is incredible, but is that really a good thing? Sometimes I think the high prevalence of loneliness, depression and emptiness in America is linked to the lack of time we spend loving each other. Sure we have friends and family and coworkers, but how much time do we spend talking to the person next to us in the waiting room. When was the last time we asked "How are you?" and wanted a response more in depth than "Fine, thanks". When was the last time we gave a more in depth response or actually allowed ourselves to be vulnerable enough to share our sufferings with a friend. Both Uganda and America struggle with the issues of poverty, disease and corruption, but at the end of the day, just because America has less of it, it does not make it a superior country. How do you measure a country, by its values, its relationships or its wealth? It is all so subjective. I've come to the conclusion that there is no such thing as a superior country. There is no preferred place to live. In both countries you will experience both good and bad things. In both countries, you will have areas to boast about and areas you will lower your head to hear. In both countries you will experience joy, laughter, grief, anger and frustration. There is just not a difference. I still believe that we should do EVERYTHING possible and put our entire hearts into trying to lessen the miseries people experience in both countries. However, the world is not perfect and never will be, so we must choose to make the best of whatever situation we are in. We need to keep a positive attitude and turn to God with our troubles. We need to give our neighbors a helping hand and fight for equality while still remembering to focus on the positive things and the blessings of life. In the midst of all the problems, beauty is found. Beauty is found in the acts of kindness we show each other and the times when we lower ourselves for someone else. You can choose to see the world as a lost cause, or you can choose to look at the beautiful moments for inspiration. We are all people, we are all connected and we are all interdependent. There is no better country, no better person, no better life. There is only the body of Christ, which is people. We are in it together. I think the young man, Brad, I was talking to summed it up best when he said, "It's like in Kampala. The people from the village always think the people from the city have such great lives and are so wealthy. However, when they actually go to the city, they see that the city has just as many problems as the village, they are just different problems."

I know this does not give a lot of insight into how I spent my week or give any heart wrenching stories, but I can only put into words the thoughts in my head and this is the one concept consuming my thoughts lately. I love and miss each of you and please stay strong in God, he is our refuge.

"I said to the Lord, 'You are my Lord, apart from you, I have no good thing'" -Psalm 16:2

"Remember those in prison as if you were their fellow prisoners and those who are mistreated as if you yourself were suffering" -Hebrews 13:3

To my family: I love every single one of you so much and I have been praying for you and thinking of you every single day since I've been here. Part of me really wishes I was there with you right now as we experience the grief of losing a loved one together, but I know I am hear for a reason and I will be back soon. Thank you for everything you have done for me, words cannot express my gratitude.

Week Four

Home sweet home. Sort of. From Tuesday to Sunday we spent time in the village of Rakai (about a four hour drive away) building a home and visiting schools. Now, I'm back in Kampala, back to my room and it really feels like I'm at home. It is funny how quickly we adapt to new situations and long for familiarity.

Before I get into the details of the village, I want to share my experience on Monday. We spent the day at Kids In Need. Usually when we go to the projects we either do our program of praise and worship or we help out with chores around the facility, but we rarely do both at one project. But this time, we spent the whole day at Kids in Need and the experience was incredible. In the morning we helped the staff out with clean up and some chores and had a blast. The kids helped us and sang and dance with us while we worked and the relationships built in that time far exceeded the relationships we build doing the usual program. Then we made them lunch and did our usual praise and worship program which was such a celebration as usual. Lastly, we handed out brand new clothes to the kids along with some supplies and then headed out. When the kids switched out of their torn up shirts and shorts and put new clothes and shoes on their feet they literally stood taller with pride. When these kids are living in scrapes for clothing and with such little attention, it is very easy to see the toll it takes on their self esteem. Conversely, it is easy to see how much of an impact we are making by serving the kids. It was an awesome day, but it did not even compare to my time at the village.

Oh the village. I do not think it is possible for me to explain how life changing of an experience it was. We stayed at a small house about thirty minutes outside of the building site which was quite an adjustment, but in a good way. We slept twelve to a room, with six mattresses in each room (which if you do the math is two to a single sized mattress) and did not have running water. But the close quarters and less than ideal conditions just made us closer as a team. At the village, we built a house for a widowed mother of four who had been living in her cooking hut. Her original hut was about the size of a laundry room and one mattress probably could not have fit in it. Biologically, she had only two children and the other two she took in when a family member died. However, she was so loving that it would be impossible to tell the difference between her biological and adopted kids. She deserved that house more than anyone I have ever known. It was a humble two room brick house, but to her, it was a blessing beyond belief.

The week consisted of exhausting physical labor and long days, but every ounce of sweat dripped with compassion. I thought we would be building a house to make a difference for one family, but I am beginning to realize the impact our actions had on the entire community. For instance, because the family lived off a path of the main street, the truck delivering supplies could not get very close to the house. So instead of just building the house, we first had to haul 4000 bricks and huge piles of rocks, sand and gravel to the site by hand, wheelbarrow and bucket. Faced with this daunting task, we were originally quite discouraged, but after a few minutes, a swarm of kids from the neighborhood came to help. Thirteen year old girls balanced bricks four at a time on their head and even the youngest kids in the group were willing to take a brick down. While part of me felt the alarms of child labor going off in my head, the other half of me realized the kids just wanted to be a part of something bigger than them. We showed them love and taught them the value of serving others. In Uganda, doing service for people without compensation, especially for someone you are not related to is very uncommon and so many many residents of the village stopped by to see if the rumors were true. Many just could not understand why the crazy Christians would do this, but at the same time, it was obvious they respected our willingness to help.

Since we had such a large team, the entirity of my stay at the village did not just involve physical labor, but also playing with children and visiting schools. The schools were an interesting experience to say the least. At one school, the entire student body welcomed us with song and dance and the other school was a school exclusively for orphans. I enjoyed both thoroughly. But the real memories came from the neighborhood kids, the same ones who helped with the bricks. While most spoke Luganda and very little English, with the help of the Ugandan staff and frequent gestures, we managed to grow quite attached to the kids. We tickled them and played games with them and held them and showed them love. I would not trade those moments for the world.

Which brings me to my story of the week. This time his name is Brian. I met Brian on Thursday when I saw him peering behind a tree at me shyly. I gestured at him and said "Jungu" or "Come" and I started to talk to him. He was a 12 year old currently in school with fairly good english skills, but the conversation was still strained from a language barrier. I found out he liked football (or soccer for my American friends) and beat boxing and wanted to be a pilot. The next day, Friday, I was at the schools so I did not go to the worksite, but Brian was looking for me. He found my dear friend, Emily and told her he wanted to see me because he had brought me sugarcane. She promised him I would be there tomorrow and passed along the sugarcane. Saturday, our last day at the site, Brian was back and excited to see me. I told him I loved the sugarcane and we chatted and did our secret handshake and he asked me if he could bring me maize (aka corn) the next day. I told him we were going back to Kampala and then I would be going to America two weeks later and he began to get teary eyed. I learned more about his story with the help of Sheila, one of the Ugandan staff members and found out both his parents had died and he was living with a relative. Brian was longing for love. He really wanted to give me another gift so he left and ran the fifteen minutes back to his home, changed out of his schools clothes, grabbed three stalks of maize and ran back. Meanwhile, we were blessing the house and gathering our supplies to leave and all I could think was if Brian does not make it back, I will have broken his heart. But as I was walking up the hill to the van I saw him jump out from behind a tree and I gave him the biggest hug and kiss on the head and we both cried. I also got Sheila to get his contact information, so hopefully before I leave I can find a way to give him a small gift, like a pair of shoes and a note. This boy absolutely changed my life. I have just as much love for him as I do some of my closest friends in the world, and I don't even know his last name.

Well I have so many more stories yet again, but I do not think all the stories and memories can ever be shared, so I will leave you with just this. I have been here for a month now and I have exactly one month left and I just feel so thoughtful. I am discovering so much and God is teaching me to love and serve in a way I've never known. I wish every single one of you could be in my shoes experiencing this with me. It truly is life changing. Please keep me in your prayers. I love and miss each of you more than you could know.

And here's the verse of the week from me. Enjoy :D

"Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility, consider others better than yourselves." -Philippians 2:3

Week Three

Time is flying by here. I have a new family in the EAC team, I am learning so much about the world and discovering myself. In the US everything is so rushed and planned and synchronized that no one has time to really reflect on life. Here in between long bumpy car rides and exhausted afternoons at the house, I am left with so much time to really wonder and dream, even in the midst of living with 28 people in a small home. As much as I miss the American comforts of Cheez Its and sleeping without a mosquito net, I know when I'm back in the states, I will be truly longing to live at the Ugandan pace again. As I am reflecting, I have started to question what I value and prioritize in the world and I have also reaffirmed my core beliefs. I just hope I can somehow figure out how to bottle up the lessons I am learning here and bring them back to America to apply to my everyday life.

This week has been a fairly typical week. Tuesday we went to a primary school for a feeding/worship program and a secondary school in the afternoon. Going to the schools really is a blessing. These kids are in classes of fifty plus and are starving for the attention of an adult, so being able to deliver that undivided attention to them is a very humbling experience. Wednesday we went again to my favorite project, Katelemwa and saw the most loveable kids in the world. As corny as it sounds, I am convinced that God gave kids who suffer from disabilities a greater ability to love and be loved than kids who don't. Thursday we went to a new babies home (where we could actually hold the babies!) and then again to Remand Home. Friday we cleaned up the house and the street (which was a lot more work than it sounds) and Saturday, we drove to the source of the Nile in Jinja for a day of relaxation and bonding as a team. Sunday, after church a few of us went to the Market in Owino (which makes Chinatown in New York look tame) then to a random food court in a mall for an overpriced pizza. However, after eating posho, mateoke, rice, beans and pineapple for two meals a day every day, we all wanted a taste of American food again, no matter what the price, and it tasted SO good.

The new babies home I went to this week, Nssaymba was really a treat. When we walked in, a swarm of twenty kids aged 2 to 4 literally ran into our arms, and lucky for me, the tallest,heaviest, oldest boy ran straight to me. His name was Patrick. I am not kidding, this kid weighed 75 pounds while everyone else weighed like 30. Okay, that may be an exaggeration, but the point is, the kid was heavy. Then the rest of the team went to do some physical work around the home and I was asked to look over the 20 kids at the playground and keep them from wandering off. I assumed one of the ladies who worked there would be with me and the playground was fenced off, but I was wrong on both counts. The precious big boy who ran into my arms at the beginning soon became my arch nemesis when he discovered his favorite game was to bolt out of the playground to go get a good look at the Muzungus cleaning the yard. And of course whenever I ran after him to bring him back, several of the toddlers would follow. Not to mention, when I finally caught this boy, he would refuse to walk and I would have to carry him back. He was laughing and smiling and having a great time, but I was feeling a little ticked at him, to say the least. Anyway, eventually more of the volunteers came and helped me and it settled down and after we fed the kids breakfast, as a group, we just sat with them and played and Patrick came and plopped right into my lap and turned into the sweetest boy in the world. I would tickle him and his face would be overcome with contented joy. After about three seconds of him in my lap, I completely forgave the irreparable damage he had made on my back and patience earlier in the afternoon. Then when it was time to leave, I told him I had to go and in perfect english he said "I'll miss you!" and that was the closest I've come to crying since I've been here. That little troublemaker stole my heart and taught me so much. So many people in this world we perceive as a nuance, a troublemaker or a general disturbance to society. We only see them from our perspective and look at how they are imposing on us instead of how we can serve them. But when we humble ourselves and take the time to love on these people, their rough exterior opens up and we can see their ability to love. I won't forget Patrick and if you want to put a face to a name, he is the one in my lap in my profile picture on the right.

Remand Home was also incredible this week. In the small group discussion, we asked volunteers to share their story and their testimony and wow, was I unprepared for that. Many of the kids are in the juvenile correctional facility for crimes they did not commit or petty crimes that in their situations, are easy to understand,such as theft. But one boy in my group gave a chilling, but eyeopening story. He told about how growing up, his mom was awful to him and he absolutely hated her. In fact, his hatred for her made him hate all women and all girls. He began to seek out girls to beat and hurt because he felt so much hatred. Eventually one day he was caught trying to break into a woman's home and arrested and subsequently, taken to Remand Home. At the home, he learned about the Gospel and learned right from wrong and swears he will never ever hurt another person again, and I believe him. But, he continued with his story and said that deep down, he still felt the desire to hurt women. God had healed him of his actions, but not his thoughts. I know some of you probably do not want to read this story because it seems incomplete and depressing, but to me, it is so real. The fact that the boy could admit, in a room full of women, that he was still plagued by these thoughts was such an honest and genuine thing to do. Also, it made me really think about his mother and what she must have done to him. What kind of sadistic things could a person do to a child to turn them into a violent, hateful person. And what kind of things happened to the mother to turn her into such an unbearable person to live with. The influences we have on people can really really hurt a person and alter the direction of their life, especially with young kids. Yet on the flip side, the positive interactions and positive influences we have on people can also heal a person and redirect their lives. It seems elementary to just now realize the impact Empower A Child is having on the lives of these children just by investing time in their lives, but better late than never perhaps. At the same time, knowing this is also a call to action and bears the burden of a lot of responsibility, not just on the mission field, but in life. Every single interaction we have with another human can make or break their life. I think we should all keep this in mind.

I have so many more stories and reflections from this week, but I know the power of being concise and brief, so I will leave my other stories for a later date. Tomorrow we are leaving for the village to build a house, so we will leave the modern westernized house with electricity, running water and beds in the city for a more humble house in the village away from distraction. I am excited for what this experience will teach me.

And I'll leave you with a verse.
"Be happy, young man, while you are young, and let your heart give you joy in the days of your youth."
-Ecclesiastes 11:9

Take heart, if you are reading this blog right now, you have so much to be thankful for. You can afford a computer, you can read and you have at least one person who cares about you (me). Life gets really really hard sometimes, this I know, but we are blessed in so many ways.

I love and miss all of you so incredibly much.

Some Photos

Fixing up a well in the slums (we got a little muddy)

All the girls before church on a Sunday

Cooking and serving lunch at a school
Some of the group at a soda shop nearby with an amazing view of Kampala

Tickling my favorite boy at the Sambia Babies Home

Clearing land in the village

In the slums with some kiddosListening to the message at Kids In Need

Remand Home

On Safari (look at how close I am to a man with a gun!!!)

At the Source of the Nile in Jinja

Hope you enjoyed the pictures!!!!