Week Five

For the first time since being here, this week has not been characterized by laughter and thanksgiving, but instead I have been in a mood of deep thinking and painful lessons. While these times are not the times I am going to look back on with a smile, I know I will look back and see that they have made me stronger and changed me.

The week was fairly typical, Monday was staff meeting and a day of rest after Rakia, Tuesday we went to two schools, Wednesday we went to Katelemwa, a school and had team bonding. Thursday we went to the Babies Home and Remand Home and Friday we went to Zairobwe (the village) to deliver supplies such as mattresses, mosquito nets, gerry cans and hoes. The supplies were for families we talked to a couple weeks before. Friday was my favorite day for sure. Seeing the grateful faces of the families and playing games with mobs of hyper children in a village are two sensations I wish everyone could experience.

One conversation I had this week at Remand Home is really on my heart to share with everyone through this blog. In small groups, we were talking with some of the boys about what they were struggling with and questions they had. One of the boys started asking questions about America and it became clear that he thought everyone in America was wealthy, happy and living the perfect life. His perception of America was almost identical to the view held by so many of the Ugandans I've interacted with thus far. America has been idealized here as the promise land, the answer to all problems and a refuge. I remember last week in the village when we went to a school, the headmaster told the students to study hard so that they could get an education and move to America for a better life. This sentence really disturbed me. Obviously the part about studying hard I agreed with, but I do not agree that America is the answer. After being here for over a month, I am noticing that despite all the poverty, disease and corruption, Uganda has so many amazing points. Also, being here has reaffirmed some of the major flaws of America. In Uganda, familial pride is such a huge part of culture. Aunts take their nieces and nephews and raise them as their own children. In fact, many children do not see a distinction between their brother and their cousin because their parents do not see a point in telling them the difference. The neighborhood children all play together and support each other from birth until adulthood. The people live in small huts and houses which of course causes problems from a lack of privacy, but at the same time can be a blessing. In American homes, each child can go into their separate bedroom, get on their personal video gaming system and just maybe, if their family is close, they will wander downstairs for dinner. We may be tech-savvy and well adapted to modern society, but we are missing out on relationships. Half of us do not even know who our neighbors are. Maybe we know the immediate neighbors on either side, but what about the house three houses down? We are so independent and self sufficient in America which is incredible, but is that really a good thing? Sometimes I think the high prevalence of loneliness, depression and emptiness in America is linked to the lack of time we spend loving each other. Sure we have friends and family and coworkers, but how much time do we spend talking to the person next to us in the waiting room. When was the last time we asked "How are you?" and wanted a response more in depth than "Fine, thanks". When was the last time we gave a more in depth response or actually allowed ourselves to be vulnerable enough to share our sufferings with a friend. Both Uganda and America struggle with the issues of poverty, disease and corruption, but at the end of the day, just because America has less of it, it does not make it a superior country. How do you measure a country, by its values, its relationships or its wealth? It is all so subjective. I've come to the conclusion that there is no such thing as a superior country. There is no preferred place to live. In both countries you will experience both good and bad things. In both countries, you will have areas to boast about and areas you will lower your head to hear. In both countries you will experience joy, laughter, grief, anger and frustration. There is just not a difference. I still believe that we should do EVERYTHING possible and put our entire hearts into trying to lessen the miseries people experience in both countries. However, the world is not perfect and never will be, so we must choose to make the best of whatever situation we are in. We need to keep a positive attitude and turn to God with our troubles. We need to give our neighbors a helping hand and fight for equality while still remembering to focus on the positive things and the blessings of life. In the midst of all the problems, beauty is found. Beauty is found in the acts of kindness we show each other and the times when we lower ourselves for someone else. You can choose to see the world as a lost cause, or you can choose to look at the beautiful moments for inspiration. We are all people, we are all connected and we are all interdependent. There is no better country, no better person, no better life. There is only the body of Christ, which is people. We are in it together. I think the young man, Brad, I was talking to summed it up best when he said, "It's like in Kampala. The people from the village always think the people from the city have such great lives and are so wealthy. However, when they actually go to the city, they see that the city has just as many problems as the village, they are just different problems."

I know this does not give a lot of insight into how I spent my week or give any heart wrenching stories, but I can only put into words the thoughts in my head and this is the one concept consuming my thoughts lately. I love and miss each of you and please stay strong in God, he is our refuge.

"I said to the Lord, 'You are my Lord, apart from you, I have no good thing'" -Psalm 16:2

"Remember those in prison as if you were their fellow prisoners and those who are mistreated as if you yourself were suffering" -Hebrews 13:3

To my family: I love every single one of you so much and I have been praying for you and thinking of you every single day since I've been here. Part of me really wishes I was there with you right now as we experience the grief of losing a loved one together, but I know I am hear for a reason and I will be back soon. Thank you for everything you have done for me, words cannot express my gratitude.